May25
Author Archives: Mystertim
May24
4:30 AM
Half an hour until the alarm goes off,
Could the situation become any sadder?
I was quite blissfully sound asleep,
Until Sammy pounced upon my bladder.
05/24/2018
May21
Diet Dr Pepper
The local stores had all run out,
Looked like my weekend would be a drag.
Stubbed my toe and after swearing,
Found a six-pack inside a reusable bag!
05/21/2018
May19
It Was Naughty
I wrote a poem,
On this fine morn,
Couldn’t post it here,
It read like porn!
05/19/2018
May13
And Brushing
No one really loves me,
Should’a learned that soona.
Perhaps my kitten loves me!
Or she’s just using me for tuna…
05/13/2018
May10
Maybe Die First?
Buying art is a wonderful rush,
Masterpieces in a brand new home.
I heard a Monet sold for 84 million,
How the heck do I sell a poem?
05/10/2018
May10
Knead Those Biscuits!
I really need to get a massage,
It’s only the funding that I lack.
However I feel so stiff and sore,
Wonder if Sammy would walk on my back…
05/10/2018
May10
NSFW – Kinda
Having a penis is a dangerous thing.
Like having a camera with auto-zoom.
It makes me buy ridiculous stuff,
Like Kim Kardashian’s latest perfume…
05/10/2018
May2
Beware An Aside…
They operated on my foot today,
Removing glass that thought to stay.
Then they say it wasn’t glass,
Which made me think of a winsome lass.
(It was dark and we had been skinny-dipping,
Our young bodies battling the chill with our
Overheated passion.
As she turned her bike to ride away,
She ran over my foot, breaking a small bone.
I can’t remember why or what we argued about,
But will always remember her. And the diagnosis
Of hyperkeratosis…)
05/02/2018
May2
Blithe Poetry 
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